Many of us feel a sense of obligation to family, friends, our jobs, etc. I’m here to tell you that you can pass on that if you want.

Some of the things we can pass on are wasting time and getting sucked into drama. If you’re doing something you don’t want to be doing, then you are wasting your time. We only have a finite time on this earth, so why waste any time doing something that doesn’t bring you joy?

I have been wasting time for years. I fell into this comfortable state of being where I didn’t have to put myself at risk of rejection or confront reality. I ripped off the daily calendar pages without ever thinking; I just let another day go by doing things I didn’t enjoy. Wow! (I’m really learning a lot of insight writing these blogs.)

The other day, I thought of ideas that we can pass. 

(*) You can pass on friends that don’t support you or help you to feel good about yourself.

(*) You can pass on family invites that make you feel stressed and anxious.

(*) You can pass on wasting your time with things that are more important to someone else than you.

(*) You can even refuse to believe you have to or should do something that doesn’t make your life richer or happier. (That’s been a bane in my life.)

I write a lot about happiness because what is life without being happy? Happiness for one can be living in a tiny home with two cats and living off the land, and for another, happiness is opening up your own business and making a dream a reality. Happiness is different for everyone.

Someone can be happy working at a menial job because it allows them time to pursue a creative outlet and work toward a bigger goal. From the outside, it looks like they’re struggling because they’re not making as much money as their siblings or other people their age, but they are happy.

Who in the world has the right to tell someone else how to be happy? No one. Absolutely no one. All we can do is be supportive of other people’s choices.

When you pass on something that you don’t want to do, you are saying yes to yourself. (I don’t mean being a baby and wanting to lay around all day and do nothing—quite the opposite. I’m suggesting finding your passion and purpose and living that.)

Each decision you make is either for you or against you. It’s that simple.

I used to feel so much pressure and obligation to attend family gatherings. Beforehand, I was so anxious, and it didn’t get better once I got there. I would question myself why I was there as I listened to conversations I was not interested in. I’d fantasize about being at a dinner table with people I liked being with, talking about music, the fate of our planet, or whether or not androids would ever get autonomy. Cool stuff. Productive stuff. Important stuff.

When I decided to pass on the family dinners (that only gave me a full belly), I leaped forward toward attaining my goals. I felt empowered and happy for the first time in a very long time. I always wanted a close family who cared about and supported one another, but after getting healthier, I had to pass on gatherings that made me less than and defective.

If something doesn’t feel right to you, pass on it.

Listen to your gut with decisions, small to big; your intuition knows what’s best for you. If we listened more to our inner voice instead of fear or the outside world chiming in, we’d be better able to pass on things that we don’t want in our lives.

I used to be on the frequency to free used stuff and find furniture on the side of the road in good condition and bring it home. While there’s nothing wrong with that, when I started to love myself more, I realized I wanted to be able to purchase the kind of furniture I wanted, not found and used out of necessity. I now pass on furniture on the side of the road. I was acting out of fear. Mostly fear of missing out (FOMO.)

You can pass on anything. It took me a long time to realize that.

Passing on something you don’t want is creating boundaries for your life.

Boundaries draw a line in your life that protects you in a healthy way, not in an irrational, I’ve got to hide sort of way.

We know what’s right for us most of the time. Pay closer attention to what you want and what feels good to you.

Thank you for reading. Let me know what you feel like passing on.

To passing,

Francesca