When I was a kid, there was this movie, “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark?” with these little gremlin/demons who lived in the basement and had it out for the lady of the house. I was terrified by those things! I was afraid to go down our basement for fear those demon things were there, probably egged on by my older brother who preyed on my fears. I guess it was fun for him and very similar to the relationship between Kevin and Buzz in the movie Home Alone.

Anyway, those things just terrified me. As a kid, they were my big bad wolf. It haunted me!

As I grew older, new things became my big bad wolf. I overcame a lot of my fears (but never the MRI machine. Which can go to the junkyard for all I care! I’m waiting for engineers to develop the Star Trek method of scanning the body used by Dr. Leonard McCoy “Bones” and Spock. That’ll be sweet!).

Lately, I’ve been battling another big bad wolf – fear of not being able to do what I want to do for a living. I apply for writing jobs because that’s what I want to do. But the big bad wolf comes growling around, giving me doubts and fears about why I bother applying. The big bad wolf huffed and puffed, “They won’t choose me. I don’t have that kind of experience.” I said no to myself before allowing anyone else to do it.  But I still applied to writing jobs throughout the years and either got a no or heard nothing, and I let the big bad wolf get to me.

I appeased the wolf to get it to settle down by thinking thousands of people probably applied for the same job, and it’s nothing personal. There was a better candidate out there for that company. I’d kick the wolf in the butt and apply for another job. I’ve never given up and will not let that wolf get me!

I’ve been working on living a minimalistic lifestyle and getting rid of many things. Last night I ventured into my filing cabinet where I house all things writing, things I have written, and  lots of information about writing (publishers, writing contacts, etc.) I pulled out the file titled “Greeting Cards.” I hadn’t looked in that folder for many years. Inside were letters I had sent greeting card companies with samples of greeting card verses I created. They were dated 1989 and 1992.  I read some of the verses and thought if I saw this card in a store, I’d buy it. But I sent them to six greeting card companies (not Hallmark. They have full-time writers per a letter I found) and never pursued it again. Even though my writing quality improved and I gained more confidence, I never sent them out again.

The same is true with my books. I sent my book to only eight agents. Did I get better at letting that wolf know who’s boss? Not really. That big bad wolf had a good time waiting for my fear to come out so he could pounce on me. And he did. And I let my work sit for six years. Six years with no attention. Six years afraid of the big bad wolf.

To be honest, it took more years than that to look that big bad wolf in the eyes and say, “I’m not afraid of you anymore! Get lost!” And it’s okay because it’s never too late to accomplish anything you want.

You must first figure out what it is to stop being afraid of your big bad wolf. What makes you afraid to do what you want? Can you deal with it on your own, or do you need help? And please don’t let getting help become another wolf. Bearing your soul is worth it to get rid of that wolf once and for all.

Once you figure out your big bad wolf, you need to do the very thing that scares you. It’s just as simple as that. When I was afraid to get in the pool because I didn’t know if the water was too cold, I’d jump in, and after a few seconds of shock, I got used to it. We all could get used to something that terrifies us. We have to do it. I went down to my parent’s basement and looked around. I kept telling myself that it was only a movie, not real, and that no demons lived there. Creepy daddy long-leg spiders, yes, but not miniature demons. At least, I’m pretty sure.

Doing action takes you out of your head (fears) and lets you live by your heart (desires), and no big bad wolf could get you if you’re in a position of controlling your actions. Build a six-foot fence (your courage), and that big bad wolf can’t get near you. It can howl all it wants outside the fence but it can’t harm you.

Plus, doing action puts you in a positive mindset, where creativity and happiness reside. We want to be there, and the wolves can’t get to you there either. The main thing is to focus on that positive mindset.  It keeps you strong and the big bad wolf at bay.

So, ask yourself, “What’s my big bad wolf? How is it messing with my happiness?” Once you get those answers, the rest is easy. Stop feeding it fear, and it’ll go away for good.

Thank you for reading this. I hope you get something good out of this post to help you eliminate your big bad wolf.

To Making the Big Bad Wolf Go Away,

Francesca