Today, Mother’s Day, got me thinking about what to write. I know I’m grateful for being a mother and don’t take it for granted like I used to. Life and goals had me bumping around an imaginary pinball machine for years. I made mistakes as a mother. My time was too fragmented to focus one hundred percent on her. I regret that but I didn’t know any better. There was no parenting manual I could reference, not for me or anyone else. We do the best we can, love to our limits, and believe our kids will have good, happy lives.

I didn’t want to be the overbearing mother telling my daughter what to do, so I supported her endeavors and choices. But I have learned a few life lessons, and I want to pass them down to her.

These ideas can apply to all of us.

 

 

1. Forgive yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everything you do is a miracle because you and only you can do those things that way. Give yourself a pass on criticism and judgment.

2. Forgive others. (I’m still working on this one but I know it’s important to do to live a happy life.) This doesn’t mean that it gives people the go-ahead to hurt you. It means you get to separate from the pain someone caused you, and you can let it go. The experience teaches you a lesson, but you don’t need to keep reminding yourself of it. Forgive and let it go.

3. Love yourself like you would someone else. You overlook flaws and mistakes from others and still love them, so do the same for yourself. Love yourself unconditionally. Look in the mirror, smile, and tell yourself, “I love you.” There’s only one you in the world, and you ought to love who you are. Loving yourself also spreads love to others in a genuine way.

4. When things don’t go your way, take a breath, try to pull yourself from the situation, and look at it from the outside. Was it that important to ruin a minute, a day, or longer? If not, reconcile it was not meant to be – for a reason.  If it is important, handle it in a way that helps to reduce any ill feelings.

5. When you want something, ask yourself, is it a want or a need? If it’s a want, wait a day and see if you feel the same way about it. If you do, act on it. If not, it was a whim.

6. Emotional pain is meant to help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. It’s okay to cry it out. It helps to shed the old and bring clarity to your life.

7. Play. Always make time to play. It could be doing a puzzle or watching the clouds go by. Just do something that is totally fun and lets you escape from everyday life. Your mind will thank you.

8. Love with a partner is complicated and lasts way past the gaga stage when things are new and exciting. You’ll know you’re in love when both of you can defuse arguments quickly by talking and being supportive.

9. Do what you love. I spent too many years doing things I didn’t like to do, mostly out of fear. It is true that we can achieve what we believe in. When you know what makes you happy, figure out what you need to do to do that consistently.

10. Know that I am so proud of you. I applaud the way you carry yourself, your strength, and your go-getter attitude toward going after what you want. Always let your sparkle glisten, and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. What you think is what is most important.

 

To all the mothers reading this, no matter if you have a human baby or a fur baby, Happy Mother’s Day!

To being a mother,

Francesca