We’re all given the same opportunities to learn, grow, evolve and be educated (I’m not referring to college. You can learn at a library for free.) What it comes down to is desire.

It’s much easier to sit around chatting with your pals or family and getting all your knowledge from them. Who wants to take the time to verify if something is real or not, actual or fiction, fact or gossip?

So many folks carry on the tales and beliefs of their families without ever questioning them. I don’t know how we can go through life believing someone else’s beliefs without questioning why we’re doing it. It’s like wearing someone else’s underwear. It’s too personal, and sometimes it stinks.

It feels good to belong to a group with people who think the way we do. It helps us not to have to check in with ourselves because we’re fused into a collective soul. We don’t have to think or question anything because everything is laid out for us in an enjoyable path of least resistance way. Most of us don’t ever bother to find out who started the ideas, either. They go on living uncomfortably numb. 

I was raised Catholic and attended church every Sunday. Not once did I ever feel okay among the people of the church. Not once. I felt judged and knew that if I stepped out of place, I would be criticized or scolded. Most likely due to the fact a priest and “usher” (who thought they were working at the Vatican in Rome) scolded and criticized me at the local small church. So, I questioned being there, my faith, and the reasons why attending mass was toxic for me.

Oh, I still have my faith and pray. I am a good soul and follow the doctrine of Jesus, who believed in the good of human beings, you know – “do unto others as you would have done unto you.” But even Jesus knew that humans would screw up and go down paths of thorny pickers if others they trusted went first.

Obviously don’t know this for sure, but I believe Jesus knew how to pick his battles and didn’t waste his precious energy or time on people he couldn’t reach. He has his followers, but he never asks them to believe him over everything.

A collective group gets to go through life uncomfortably numb. What I mean by this is that when we don’t take the time or care to check in with who we are, what we believe, or how we want to live our lives, we stop feeling. Otherwise, if we did feel, we may feel pain. So, we become entangled in drama and exciting tales that get our tongues wagging for more juice, all so we don’t have to see ourselves.

Hey, I was there. My group was my family and friends. Although I didn’t take on their beliefs, I did take on their pain because I was the one aware of it. As time went on, I, too, became uncomfortably numb, and even though I knew I had to change, I just didn’t know how. But at least I had the awareness of that.

I didn’t want to be uncomfortably numb. I wanted to feel happy, energetic, and joyful and live every day to the fullest. I knew it would happen if I kept working on it. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that we actually have to do some work on ourselves to wake up and start feeling. Feeling stuff helps us to change, grow, and be better versions of ourselves.

It also helps that I’m curious, so learning is like catnip to me. I love it! I’ll be learning forever. There is no way we can know everything, yet there are some who really give it the ol’ college try. I find those people rather obnoxious and boring. They add nothing of value to me, even though they profess how much they know to a tenth degree.

Years ago, I went to a writer’s conference, and several of the writers were literally saying, “I did this” and “I did that,” so much so that I had to walk away and seriously wanted to go home. It was overbearing. Not one asked me what I wrote. It was all about them. Since I was not that comfortable talking about myself, I didn’t make many writer connections. 

See, that’s not living. That’s existing uncomfortably numb. When you have to be the big cheese, put people down, brag, or make yourself high and mighty, you’re in pain. Face it. You are in pain. There’s a little girl or boy inside who didn’t have the proper attention during the formative years, where worth and value were not honored. I would surmise, like during my upbringing, that when you feel not good enough, you spend your life trying to be perfect to avoid scrutiny and judgment. In my experience, the “know-it-alls” want those around them to feel bad about themselves, so we don’t see through them. 

And know-it-alls are in a group of people living uncomfortably numb. 

There are too many people uncomfortably numb, and it’s causing a huge problem for our humanity. I am not only referring to my family or people I know but many, many people. This phenomenon has swept through our country like a Canadian wildfire. Social media is only making it worse. Years ago, there were television programs geared toward radical mindsets, but now, it’s everywhere – and radicalism is trying desperately to become the norm, causing many more to be uncomfortably numb without even realizing it. 

We cannot let this to continue. We have to wake up, splash some water on our faces, and shake a little to start feeling again.

Thank you for reading this and I hope I’ve given something positive to think about.  

To feeling again,

Francesca

Created by a human for humans.

2024 – Francesca M.E. – All Rights Reserved.