When I used to work outside the house in an office, a cleaning staff dusted the desk and other surfaces, swept the floors, vacuumed, and took out the trash. My job was to go to that office and do the work I got hired to do. I didn’t have to think about cleaning or fixing things unless I made a mess and broke something. I thought a lot about this idea of being able to focus on doing my job rather than feeling scattered about taking care of the laundry, the house, and other responsibilities. We are in our home, so why not throw a load in the washer while we are there?

Well, for me, it got out of hand. Instead of checking off the to-do items that would help me earn money, I did the thankless and non-paying jobs (albeit rewarding) of tending to the house and yard responsibilities. When my daughter was younger, her needs came first, too. As she grew up, she morphed quickly into an independent person and didn’t need much from me. Still, I found countless distractions to use as an excuse for why I couldn’t focus on my work.

I thought maybe I had adult ADHD or some sort of compulsive disorder since I couldn’t seem to look the other way to things I deemed so necessary to do in the house. So, I went to YouTube or Google to find the answers. Don’t we all these days? 🙂

As I lay in bed frustrated about another day wasted where I didn’t get any closer to attaining my goals, I knew I had to figure out why this happened. So I educated myself.  I happened upon a TEDx Talks video on YouTube, Recognizing ADHD in Adults, by Heather Brannon.  After seeing that, I knew I didn’t have ADHD. So what was it then?

I discovered that the problem of why I got distracted with the house things and couldn’t seem to focus on my job came down to location and feeling guilty that I was in the house and felt compelled to take care of things. I was working from home. And even though I had a separate room I called an office; I was still a short commute from the realities of being an adult and working in my home. It was just too easy to feel compelled to wear two or three hats at once and take care of it until I hit the wall of burnout.  Because what I didn’t factor in was also to schedule time for fun stuff, relaxation, and taking care of myself. What I thought was an incredible opportunity to work from home had slowly morphed into what I refer to as being in a mixed laundry load, and I was coming out of the washer multi-colored, stretched out, and faded.

Being a student of life and a lover of learning, I went to books to figure out how to change things. Here are some of them I found helpful:

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover

The Book of No by Susan Newman, Ph.D.

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud

Stop People Pleasing by Patrick King

And then I figured out the Conundrum of Working From Home…

It all comes down to boundaries.

Even though we know the definition of a boundary, I thought this sentence from the Love is Respect website titled, What Are My Boundaries? explains it well, “Boundaries show where one thing ends and another begins.” Simple, right? Easy to understand, right? So if we apply it to working from home, it’s a no-brainer. The boundary has to become that when we work on our job that pays the bills, we do not engage in any household things, right? So why can’t some of us do that? Writing from a woman’s perspective only, I don’t know the data on whether women are more prone to being distracted, but according to N.F. Mendoza’s article, Distractions and the Downsides to Working From Home, “Working at home features distractions and 53.1% of respondents believed working remotely had made it more difficult to separate work and nonwork life. More than one in 10 millennials admitted being distracted by playing video games during the workday and one in five boomers did laundry during the workday. Other overall distractions include watching TV, cooking, running errands, doing laundry, childcare, watching movies and cleaning.”

Sounds familiar to me. When we work from home, the line is blurred between home and work, especially if you don’t have a designated area to call your work zone.

 

Here are six tips I learned to help create the boundaries to separate work life from home life:

1. Create a schedule and stick to it. Don’t forget to schedule time for lunch, breaks, and things like doctor and dentist appointments.
2. Make your workspace look and appear like a professional office. Even if you use a corner in your living room or work from the couch, when you are working, look around and see what you can do to keep the distractions to a minimum.

   

   

   I like to use the example of when I’m in a waiting room. There can be ten other people around, a television on, and I can still focus on reading a book like I’m the only one in the room. The secret is learning to tune things out.

3. Use a paper note you’ll see every day or use your phone to create a reminder and use them for at least 30 days to create new habits. They could be something like, “Not now!” or “I’m working!” – write anything that focuses your mind on your work.
4. When it’s time to quit working, stop doing it! Then move on to your home life. It would help if you also did fun things to allow your body relaxation and get recharged.
5. Develop a routine you do when working that gives the reminder it’s work time. This could be having your coffee in a particular mug or cup or a water bottle that you only use when doing your job. You could listen to certain music or wear certain clothes. The choice is yours but make it something different to trigger the idea it’s time to work. When I worked outside the house in an office, I wore a business wardrobe.
6. When you get done working, do something that you love to do to get your mind to associate it with the end of the workday. For example, you could change into more comfortable clothing, take a bath, have a drink, or do whatever you can that helps you decompress.

Creating boundaries takes time to develop, so don’t feel like it’s not working after a week or two. It could take up to a month to see the change, so don’t give up! You can do it, and you’ll be glad you took steps to create that separation, and so will those around you.

To the best life,

Francesca