Underwater volcanos form islands. Molten lava erupts over time, creating a land mass where there once was the ocean. It’s incredible how our earth knows how to create new life.

We know how to, too, and I’m not referring to creating a baby. I’m referring to changing our lives to a new existence where we’re happy and at peace in our souls.

When we feel hurt in any way, it scars the mind. Depending on the level of pain, it can cause us to do all sorts of things, like get angry, not take good care of ourselves, be mean and hurtful, or become a shell of our true selves, latching on to the latest and greatest drama to occupy our minds. Either way, the pain festers within us, and one day, it just might erupt like a mighty volcano.

After that, after the destruction and messiness of our emotions, something else happens to us—clarity. During the growing process, new brain synapses develop, changing us. New thoughts and ideas form. This is where we have a chance to create a new life.

Out of the ashes, the phoenix rises. 

That means out of the pain, we rise to new heights.

Humans build homes, roads, and schools near volcanos they think are inactive, and there’s nothing to fear. The harmless mountains are ticking time bombs for the moment the earth’s core heats up and melts, pushing the magma, molten rock up through the surface.  Humans think they are smart enough to know when a catastrophe will happen, but we’ve all seen the flaws in that plan, most recently with the natural destruction in Maui, Hawaii.

Let’s apply that example to our lives. We go about our days smiling and thinking good thoughts; everything is going great. Then, all it takes is one moment, a trigger, getting reminded or pushed, and our emotions flood our brains with a chemical reaction of adrenaline and cortisol. Anger erupts from us like melted lava pouring down the side of a volcano. Chances are we can’t stop the anger once it begins to pour out, and we have to let it ride its course.

Unless a volcano is extinct, even a dormant volcano can erupt. We can keep ourselves busy with stuff and activity, but anger and resentment can simmer inside of us, just waiting to be released at a second’s notice. All it takes is something to affect us negatively, and boom! Eruption!

Today, what I thought was a simple visit to the parents turned into a Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) of 8, the highest magnitude and intensity a volcano can have. The anger and resentment I’ve been harboring for a very long time exploded because I was triggered and pushed into it. Even though I’m a level-headed, kind person, I have my limits, and today, it poured out of me like it was the Mauna Loa volcano in Hawaii, one of the largest in the world.

Why? I could no longer tolerate my parents’ years of disrespect, ignorance, and blatant disregard for my happiness and well-being. I learned they have no clue who I am, nor do they wish to care. My assertiveness caused me to learn the truth: how dare I have feelings, independent thoughts, or love for myself! I am an outsider to the family, and the only way I’m let in is if I go against every principle I have of self-worth and self-preservation and grovel down to the dysfunction and pain as if it does not exist. I can’t do that, therefore, my family is no more.

I came home shaking, unable to breathe normally. I drank chamomile and lavender tea at my desk, trying to write this while holding my crucifix, holy medals, and crystals tightly, forcing myself to breathe deeply and calm down. So much anger had flowed out of me, and it didn’t stop until I realized I had a choice.

I could let the anger keep flowing and drown out my present moment, or I could let it simmer down and let it help me create a new life.

And how do we do that?

1. Sit with our emotions. Don’t run away from them. Running away makes them seem more significant than they are. Like my last post, face the pain. Try to understand why we’re feeling the way we do. It might take days or weeks to figure it out and that is perfectly okay. There is no time limit on how we process our emotions.
2. Visualize the life we want to live. What makes us happy? Write it out in detail if you can. That makes it more real. Or close your eyes and see the happy version of yourself. What does that look like? See it all.
3. Do something about it. The more we get on the right vibration of our new life, the one that brings us joy, the more things will happen for our good. Doors will open, ideas will happen, and opportunities will come to you. It’s amazing. It’s been happening to me recently.
4. Love ourselves more than we ever have. Start with tiny steps towards self-love, such as doing one nice thing a day for yourself and building upon that. It’s not about learning to love ourselves; it’s about rekindling the love that was always there but had its flame extinguished by people who didn’t realize what they were doing.
5. Believe in ourselves. Loving ourselves is one thing, but believing in ourselves helps us to move mountains and create a new life of what we want. Think back to a time in your life when you wanted a change but were afraid to do it, but you did it. Build upon that experience to believe in your power and ability to do what’s best for you.

Thank you for reading this. I hope I’ve shed some light on a path to a new life.

To our new life with an extinct volcano,

Francesca