Since Halloween is upon us, I thought I would write about the Tricks to Life. What the heck are they? Well, there’s a few ways I could think of to improve your life. And the best part is when you know the tricks, you get to enjoy the treat of a happy life.

Hey, if you have a wonderful life, I am so happy for you and hope that continues forever. However, for the rest of us who have some bumps in the road, any help is welcomed to create a terrific life. And that is possible. Just so you know. I’m writing short sentences for effect. It. Is. Possible.

The trick to life is not taking it too seriously. Life is like a stream, ebbing and flowing, winding, getting caught up by beaver dams, but always finding a way to keep moving downstream. Did you ever notice that about life? You could have the crappest day, but the next day isn’t so bad. And the day after that is even better! Ebb and flow, moving downstream.

There’s another trick to life when you come out of yourself and feel for the other person. I know it sounds weird, but stay with me. If you interact with someone and you’re filled with judgment and negativity, it won’t go well for either of you. And this, of course, depends on what the interaction is. I’m referring to close relationships, family, friends, etc. But let’s stop being in our heads and see the other person. What do they like? What do they want? See them for who they are. You will be surprised at what that can do to a relationship with another person and yourself.

We are too much in our heads. I know I am the culprit of that. That stems from insecurity and living a shame-based life. I think about protecting myself, guarding myself, and ensuring I won’t do anything that might get me judged. I must be pretty high on myself to believe I know what other people think and feel. Gosh, it’s sad the way I think sometimes. But I’ve gotten a lot better, and my closest relationship has become healthier and more loving due to me getting out of my head and seeing my partner. So much so we got married!

As far as myself, getting out of my head has helped me too. I don’t allow myself to worry about what someone else thinks about me. It’s freeing and allows me to be me.

The other day, I was at a grocery store, minding my business with my shopping list, and I overheard some conversations. I wasn’t hanging around listening; the aisle was jammed up, and I had to wait for some people to move along. I could not believe the negativity that came from the jammers’ mouths. One guy told a lady, “Boy, beautiful day, huh? It’s gonna rain this weekend again.” The lady replied, “Better enjoy it now ’cause it’s gonna be cold soon.” I refer to those people as “Debbie Downer” from the SNL skit played by Rachel Dratch.

The trick to life is taking each moment as it comes and trying not to lump yesterday or tomorrow into it. Take it day by day and see what happens. Yes, it’s good to have plans; I’m not suggesting that we don’t plan, but I am proposing we do our thing one day at a time. And if you need to, like me, one moment at a time. I find that helps lead a simpler life. I use a paper planner and am very organized, but can take life loosely. (I just made that up.)

All of us are doing the best we can. The person struggling not to smoke or working on losing weight is just as worthy of happiness as the person trying to be more assertive. We all deserve a happy life, no matter what that looks like. And that’s the best part! We get to choose what we want and who we are! Too many people nowadays compare themselves to others (social media has helped with that), creating an endless cycle of “not good enough.” Please stop it. Right now. (Again, short sentences for effect. Haha)

Thank you for reading this, and I hope you got something good out of it. I’m sharing what’s worked for me. I hope you have a great day!

To learning the tricks of life,

Francesca