I have a meditation cushion I used a few times in nearly a year. Those moments felt precious because I gave myself the gift of being still for five minutes. The other day, I was cleaning and had to move the cushion to vacuum under the dresser it sits under. I decided to stop what I was doing and sit on it for five minutes to meditate, which, like I have previously mentioned, I don’t do.

The other times I sat on it, I was wearing loose-fitting pants, but I had on jeans, and when I went to get down on it, I slid off it. Since I don’t know if I can safely use my right arm to steady or get myself up (shoulder surgery 2/13), I couldn’t right myself and was rolling around like a turtle on its back. I managed to get my butt on the cushion (I’m sure it was pretty funny to see) and sit for five minutes. Lesson learned: don’t attempt floor cushion seating with snug jeans on.

Anyhoo, once I settled and focused on my breathing, I felt calmer. No new thoughts entered my mind, but I felt like I was somewhere in between where I was and where I am. I know that sounds heavy, but that’s how I could describe the feeling.

Mediation can calm the mind. I went to a few classes and learned the technique, and it was a regular practice in one of my philosophy classes in college (the professor was very much into it), but I didn’t implement it in my life as a daily practice. In the article, “How to Meditate for Beginners,” from the NHS (National Health Service, UK), they recommend taking 20 minutes to meditate. I can’t even imagine being able to sit still for 20 minutes right now with all I have to do, but it makes sense that meditating that long can be beneficial. I’ve only done it for five minutes at home.

Here’s what I know about meditating. It gives us the opportunity to be in the present moment. With no thoughts swirling around our heads other than “breathe in” and “breathe out” while focusing on our breath, we are in the here and now.  In the here and now is where we find the in between, where we are, where we are seen. It’s our core. In the stillness we can connect to ourselves, our power, our peace.

That’s what mediation does for us. I’ve heard of walking meditation but haven’t done it. I walk with music in my ears and enjoy it. I figure that’s a win-win because I’m listening to something I enjoy while getting outside for a bit.

The point is that meditating has many benefits, and I hope to take more time to be in the moment.

I have found that we don’t necessarily need to do the “sitting down, breathing in and out thing” to be in the in between where we’re seen.

Here are some examples of when we’re in the in between:

• Playing with or petting our pets and focusing on them. We’re in the in between because all our guards are down and we’re our authentic selves. We don’t fear any criticism from our pets. They are there to love us unconditionally no matter what. We trust them to love what they see. They see us and still give us love and attention.

• Doing something we love to do and are focused on it. Did you ever notice how time goes by when you’re doing something you enjoy, and you can’t figure out how it went by so fast? That’s our mind relaxing, and those good chemicals flooding our brains help us feel a sense of peace.

• When we look into our eyes in the mirror, look into them. See if you can see yourself. Keep at it. When you’re brushing your teeth, keep eye contact with yourself. Forgive that person you see, like you would a good friend who apologized sincerely and meant it.

• While driving alone, and we think of things, instead of thinking worrying thoughts, shift them to abundant thoughts. Like for example, if you had an argument and are upset by it, find three good things about the person and focus on those. This doesn’t mean they are off the hook if they are at fault, but in that moment, you are free of the stress.

• Being with or seeing a human baby or another kind of baby. There is something that happens to us when we see a newborn life. We drop our guards and are the true version of us. We could act silly without any care. We make funny faces that we would never do with another adult or God-forbid, teenage child (that would get an eye roll for sure.)  But when we see those little precious new lives, we are happy. We think they make us happy, but really our inner self is happy to be free to be seen.

You get the gist of where the in-between is. It’s where we’re comfortable being our authentic selves.

Everything that seems so scary loses its power when we face it. If we’re afraid of clowns and constantly tell ourselves they’re people in makeup and funny clothing, the fear can fizzle out. I’m still working on this with spiders and snakes. I do not want to face either one of them! So, I’m okay being scared of those things.

See if you can feel what I’m writing about the next time you pet your cat or dog, or hold your child or grandchild, or when you’re doing something that feels good. Focus on how you feel. We can have that feeling all the time with anyone. We just have to be that person we are in the in between and allow ourselves to be seen.

That’s you! The you who’s not afraid to love or take chances. I mean, if animals can believe in us, what’s our problem?

Thank you for reading this, and I hope I’ve offered a nugget of goodness in your life.

To the in between,

Francesca

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