I remember when I was a kid, during a family dinner when my mother had put her hand out and wanted us to kiss it for doing such an excellent job on the meal she cooked. I’m sure she was kidding around, but it got me thinking. Maybe she did that because she felt underappreciated. Maybe no one complimented her on the food or thanked her for making it.

Recently, I made some chicken soup and gave some to my parents. It wasn’t my usual chicken soup, I made my maternal grandmother’s dumpling recipe, and I even used fresh parsley, etc. I thought it tasted amazing, and so did my guy. But days passed, and I didn’t hear anything about the soup. This wasn’t the first time I had given food away and heard nothing. My mind went into an overthinking mode, and I wondered if it was not good enough, and that’s why they didn’t say anything. No! I am a good cook because I know what good food is.

When we cook something, we take different ingredients and make a meal. It can be as simple as putting together a salad or taking a box of macaroni and cheese and following instructions; it’s still making something to eat.

And when you think about it, people who cook are doing a life-sustaining act without even realizing the importance. Who does? I never did, well, till now, writing this.

My Italian grandmother (father’s side) taught me how to cook. I was in my early twenties and asked her to teach me how she created such fantastic food. Of course, she never measured anything except when baking; even her bread’s measurements used “bowls” instead of measuring cups. The food she prepared was the best I have ever had the pleasure to experience. She could take a zucchini and turn it into a delicious meal. My favorite zucchini recipe was when she made it with her spaghetti sauce (the best!) in a pan and then topped it with a scrambled egg and served it over rice. Wow, I could still taste it in my mind.

Even though my grandmother obliged my request to learn from her, she didn’t have the patience and was a mean teacher. She was tough on me! I was terrified of making a mistake because she scolded me. I remember helping her make cannoli shells. She rolled out the dough, and my job was to cut the dough in circles using a coffee can. I didn’t know any better and just randomly cut out the circles. She yelled at me that I was wasting too much dough! After that, I  was shaking, trying to get every drop. You don’t forget those moments, and now, whenever I’m cutting something out of dough, you bet I’m butting up the cutter right next to the last cut out and not wasting any of it! Haha!

I learned. I wrote down my grandmother’s words and asked a lot of questions. I hope to be as good as a cook as her one day. My guy says I don’t give myself enough credit, and I don’t. I think there is so much to learn about cooking, and I will never be the person who thinks my cooking is perfection; there is always something to learn and improve upon. I just learned that I must use only unsalted butter when cooking. I had been using salted butter for everything. Then I wondered why some things came out too salty! Haha! You’d think the recipes I used that called for unsalted butter would have been a tip-off. Haha!

Here’s the reason for this post: anyone who prepares food for someone else should always be 1) thanked and 2) given feedback for their efforts.  I’m being honest here: it bothers me when I give food away and hear nothing. I always compliment and thank whoever gives us food because I appreciate it very much. I don’t need someone to “kiss the cook” or need a compliment, but I think anyone who gives their food away wants to hear something.

We make food to share because it’s an act of love, and when we don’t get any love back, it can sting a little.

I’m not a fan of asking, “So, what do you think of the food?” I think it’s weird to try to pull out compliments, and I don’t care to do it. I just brood in silence and try not to give food to that person again. But I can’t help myself sometimes! I’ll make a big pot of chicken soup and taste it, and since I have tastebuds that know tasty food, I want someone else to enjoy it, too. There’s nothing wrong with that. Right?

Maybe that’s wrong! I believe we teach people how we want to be treated. If I show I’m okay not hearing anything after I’ve spent my time, energy, and money on making food, then that’s what I get! That’s on me. But I want to know what someone else thinks about my food. Who else is with me on this?

Thank you for reading.

Here’s to all the cooks/chefs, may you always be recognized for your hard work,

Francesca