As I was creating a post for today, the only thing glaring out was a recent interaction I had with my mother and the lesson I learned. It’s bothering me, and I can’t stop thinking about it. So, I’m sharing.

I made banana maple muffins yesterday. They are the bomb of muffins – delicious and made with healthy ingredients. Plus, I put pea protein powder in them so they keep you full. I thought I’d be nice and give my parents a few. My mother said, “Oh, I wanted your zucchini bread!”

The other day, she gave me a zucchini from their garden and, more or less pressured, (*cough*) guilted me into making zucchini bread. The recipe I use has a lot of ingredients, some of which I didn’t have yesterday, and we had ripe bananas that needed to be used.

I just made zucchini bread for them less than two weeks ago, and an apple crisp two nights ago with apples, she handed me and said, “These need to be used up, so why don’t you make something with them?” I didn’t have all the time and energy in the world to bake and clean up the mess, but I did it, and there was no appreciation.

Yeah, I’m angry. Can you tell?

After the interaction, I told my husband how upset that made me and how it reinforced the negative message (not good enough) I had heard from my family.  I didn’t have the zucchini bread, and the muffins weren’t good enough = ergo, I’m not good enough.

Mother trucker, it was another zap I didn’t expect! Because I am a kind, mannerly person, I don’t expect others to be rude, and when they are, I get what I call “the deer in the headlights.”  I freeze and don’t have a comeback like my husband always does. His brain works to protect him, while my brain works to create and live in goodness. He’s realistic, while I’m living in a fantasy world.

I should already know that many people are self-motivated. Another lesson learned. Got it now!

Anyhoo, this morning, I saw the zucchini on the kitchen counter. I thought about ways to get out of making any zucchini bread for her, given her ungratefulness, repeated entitlement and hurtful behavior.

First, I thought I’d tell her I was just too busy and that maybe someone else could use the zucchini she gave me. Then I thought, no, I’ll tell her I don’t feel up to making it and not feeling well, and I’ll give the zucchini back because I don’t want it to go to waste.

THEN I PAUSED, YELLED FU*K OUT LOUD, and stopped the crazy train.

What was I doing?

According to any book, writing, or video on the subconscious mind, what we think is what we get. It is that simple. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between truth and fiction. It believes whatever our conscious minds think.

So, when I think I’ll tell my mother I am busy or don’t feel well, my subconscious mind hears that and gets to work, making it happen. I’ll have a ton of work, and I’ll get sick and wonder why this happens. IT HAPPENED BECAUSE OF WHAT I THOUGHT!

Well, I’m getting pretty good at this subconscious mind stuff. I’m now reading The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, Ph.D., and trying hard to be aware of my thoughts, and it hit me quickly that I was doing it again!  I was harming myself because of someone else’s behavior.

Hey, guess what? Parents don’t have carte blanche to say or do whatever they want to their children, even if they are elderly! There has to be a line drawn in the sand to stop the disrespect.

My mother would not speak to someone else like she did to me. If someone else came over with muffins after she gave them a zucchini, she’d say, “Oh, thank you. I could use something sweet.” She may ask about the zucchini but not say what she did to me because that would be rude and ungrateful, right?

The point? I, you, we, all of us deserve respect! It doesn’t matter what the relationship is – family, employer, priest, friend, co-worker – kids – WE ALL DESERVE RESPECT IF WE ARE RESPECTFUL TO OTHERS.

If we are grateful, we praise and compliment.

If we are grateful, we appreciate what we have.

If we are grateful, we treat others with respect.

Be grateful, whether you’re a parent or not. Being a good human being doesn’t take a lot of effort, and the payoff is a wonderful life. You get to affect others in a good way. Who wants to be the ogre that spreads discord and pain? Apparently, some do without even knowing it.

That’s the problem: people don’t think as they were created to do. Ya know, being mindful of other people’s feelings? God attempted to show us how to live by giving us the Ten Commandments, and many others have shared similar messages throughout history. It’s called the Golden Rule for a reason!

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Some get it, some don’t.

No one has carte blanche to hurt another, not a parent or child who feels entitled or anyone who feels that the world owes them something. It doesn’t. We owe it to ourselves and others to be kind and grateful. We are responsible for our happiness, but not at the expense of another.

Yes, I’m fired up on this topic today, but it’s for good reason. I’ve had enough rude, disrespectful behavior, and I’m not taking it anymore, and neither should any of you!

Talk to the person and share how you feel, and don’t worry about the aftermath. Worry about your feelings and how important they are. Again, this is for those who are kind and nice to begin with and get taken for granted, not for everyone to believe they can do or say whatever they want, and it’s okay. Being rude and disrespectful is not okay. I may not have to write that for the keen folks who read my blogs, but I need to clarify my ideas to avoid misinterpretation.

Thank you for reading this. I hope the lessons I learn help you have a better, happier life. Let’s appreciate, root for each other and treat one another with respect. Please leave a comment if this resonates with your life.

To respect,

Francesca