When I thought about what to write today, the song “My Way” by Frank Sinatra came to mind. I hadn’t heard it for a long time, but I have been thinking lately about what it means to do life my way.

Here are the lyrics to “My Way“

… And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear, I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full, I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this – I did it my way

… Regrets, I’ve had a few, But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this – I did it my way

… Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew, When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all, and I stood tall, and did it my way

… I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried, I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that,  and may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me – I did it my way

… For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows – And did it my way

… Yes, it was my way

Songwriters: Paul Anka / Gilles Thibaut / Claude Francois / Jacques Revaux

Wow, that’s pretty powerful stuff! I wonder how many of us can say we live life our way? I can’t—yet—but I’m working toward it. I know now that what we make of life is what we get.

For me (and maybe others), the life I desire has seemed out of reach. I dreamed about it but wasn’t able to do the actions needed to change my life. Too many influences around me had me believe I needed to negate my abilities rather than celebrate and use them. It seemed sad, and it was. I don’t know why some people in my life wanted me to settle, but I did just that for a very long time.

Whenever I imagined living my way, I saw myself happy and surrounded by supportive people who wanted me to succeed. That meant I had to take a hard look at my present life and figure out how I was going to do it. I have lofty dreams—the kind of one-in-a-million shot dreams that only those who believe without a smidge of doubt attain.

We can do anything within reason.

It has to be believable so our minds can make it happen. I mean, wanting an Olympic medal in track and field at 55, competing against 25-year-olds who are faster and stronger, might be out of reach, but that’s a rare exception. Most of us want much more realistic things like a better job, healthy relationships, a new house, or having the money to travel and enjoy life. Those things are very doable with dedication, belief, and following the action steps.

I’ve read many books on how to change your life and watched YouTube videos from personal development “experts” and mothers trying to keep their houses organized using a planner for better time management. While I learned a lot and tried to utilize their methods and ideas, they didn’t always work for me, and I felt like I couldn’t get it right.

The hardest part of life is letting go.

I thought letting go meant walking away from toxic relationships, giving up control of everything, and allowing life to happen. But when I did that, I didn’t get anywhere. I was living on a lateral plane instead of moving forward.

I then realized what the sentence the hardest part of life is letting go meant. For me, it meant letting go of the old program I was working from. That was the program that kept negative thoughts overshadowing reality. I wasn’t doing it my way. I was doing it their way: the authors’ way, the YouTubers’ way, my parents’ way, etc.  And that, my friends, is not the way to live – my way. 

Doing it our way means we have to be courageous and strong and listen to our minds, even when things look bleak, and we want to give up and give in. Don’t. Keep the faith that you deserve what you want out of life. You really can live life your way.

I know I keep writing about the idea that who we are is a culmination of what we’ve learned. We become what we believe. If we’re happy where we are—that’s wonderful! That’s the most important thing in life. But if we’re not happy or feel like something is missing in our lives, taking time to figure out what that is is the first step on the journey to doing it your way.

Having the belief that we can do it our way is the answer. With belief, we are able to create healthy boundaries and put ourselves first when we need to. That doesn’t make us selfish; it makes us smart because we need to take care of ourselves before we can give parts of ourselves away.  A person who feels complete makes choices based on what’ll give them the most significant return on investment (ROI.)  Those of us living incomplete lives, allowing guilt and obligation to be the deciding force, aren’t doing a good enough job of believing we deserve better.

Everything comes down to thought.

Everything. Every invention was first a thought. Everything our lives are now is a result of what we have thought about in the past. It’s true. It’s called the law of attraction. Whatever we think about, we become.

I like Jack Canfield’s explanation of the law of attraction. He’s a personal development guru who offers a lot of good information on how to improve one’s life.

Let’s live life our way. That means honoring ourselves and doing what feels good to us. Nobody can make us feel something. Our minds create those feelings by ourselves. It might be challenging at first to choose ourselves over other things, but the more we do it, the better we’ll feel.

Thank you for reading this. I’d love for you to leave a comment. You don’t even have to use an actual email address! 😊

To doing it our way,

Francesca