I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase that there are givers and takers in life. Looking through your life, you can see the difference in people. Who are the givers? Who are the takers? If you’re entirely a taker or a giver, then you’re doing it all wrong. Sorry, I have to tell you the truth.

The ideal life situation is being both a giver and a taker. You have to be both. Some situations call for you to step up and ask for what you want that makes your life better or serves some need. That’s what we need to be doing. On the other hand, it’s also good to be a giver and show people you care, love them and appreciate them. There is no harm in that.

The harm comes when we feel we have to be a giver all the time or have to take from others to satisfy us. The key is balance.

When you balance yourself, life is happier. You’ve got your needs met and have peace of mind, which is precious.

We’re born as a blank slate. At least, that’s what I believe. Our personality gets embedded in our minds through our experiences from birth on. If we have the experience growing up where we learned to care for ourselves, we can better care for others. It comes naturally. But if we cannot do that, being a taker becomes the go-to behavior because we didn’t learn to care for ourselves. I hope that makes sense. These are my thoughts, not proven scientifically, that I know of. I haven’t done the research.

The most wonderful thing about the human mind is that we can learn, evolve, and get better. We can change the over-giver part into allowing ourselves to be takers when necessary. All it takes is awareness. Let your conscious mind think about stuff first. Then, it gets absorbed by the subconscious mind (and that’s where changes occur.)  Until we face the real stuff, we can’t move on. It’s that simple.

So, how the heck do we change the subconscious mind? It’s easy but takes time. Don’t give up.

*** Use repetition. The subconscious mind cannot distinguish truth from fiction. That’s why we believe in irrational and untruthful thoughts. We heard particular messages so often that they had gotten embedded into our subconscious mind, where our guidance system resides – our core beliefs.  We can think consciously about something we want, but if our subconscious mind is not programmed for it, we won’t see it materialize. It’s that simple. Repeat new ideas to your subconscious even if it’s not the truth. It will be. The subconscious mind will go to work, making it happen.

Here are some example phrases to use to change your subconscious mind to think healthier thoughts that make for a much better life:

I am healthy and happy.

I am lucky, and good things happen to me.

I deserve help when I need it.

I deserve love and acknowledgment.

I am __________ lbs. and love how I feel at this weight.

You get the picture. All positive and start with the pronoun “I.”

*** Use visualization. When you think or say the phrases you’ve chosen out loud, see yourself as being that person who is that or has that. What do you look like? How do you feel? Lock in on that feeling while seeing your ideal self.

*** Act as if. Wake up and mentally see the day you want to live and act as if you are the CEO or most incredible mother or whatever you aspire to be. Wear the clothes, even if you can only afford one outfit. Realize how it feels to be who you are inside. You’re not just a giver or only a taker. You’re a person who is balanced and can act with a higher standard, and it feels really good.

I stress the idea of changing our thoughts because it’s the core of who we are. If we want to stop being a pushover or a giver all the time, then doing these three simple things will help us realize our worth and how we deserve to be a taker once in a while.

Balance yourself into a life full of joy and moments that take your breath away. It’s not just for Hallmark movies. We can have that joy in our lives anytime we want. We have to find the balance.

Thank you for reading this, and if you follow my blog, you’d know I missed one this past Sunday. I am getting married on October 21, 2023, and I’ve been preparing for the wedding. It’s a grand moment in time, and I want it to be how I see it in my mind. I will let you know on my next blog.

I am writing this for you to balance yourself and live a happy life.

To balancing yourself,

Francesca