There’s a place in a remote location like Paradise Island where Wonder Woman lives, but it does not have strong Amazonian women. It’s the home of assholes, called *Asshole Island. Unfortunately, someone lost the coordinates of it years ago, and we stopped shipping the assholes there, and now they’re all amongst us.

They are the people who drive erratically, who let the door go in your face when you’re going into a store, the rude punks who walk in front of your car when you’re driving because they think they own the road and the numerous assholes who just want to ruin your day with their negativity, selfishness, and meanness. Don’t get me started with the ones who use the streets and woods as a garbage dump. You know the ones. The assholes. I’m sure you have a few that you know.

Well, it’s their lucky day because they can go to Asshole Island free of charge and live out their days among other assholes just like them!

If we could send all the assholes to this island, we could free ourselves of some stress and feeling peeved. No one wants to feel peeved. Who? Who is this person who wants to feel peeved?

The jets recently on the news with the mechanical issues have been refurbished by newly hired mechanics, and they are gassed up and ready to go.

We don’t want to panic and flood the island with too many people, so we must be selective.

Only the biggest assholes can go on the first group of flights. Then once we know everything’s okay with the jets, we’ll send the rest. Don’t worry. We’ll get the rest out of here.

So, you’re probably asking yourself, how do I contact the people handling this mission? You’re in the right place because I have the information and am passing it on to you.

Go to the website www.assholeislandvacations.com and click on the link to nominate someone. They’ll be notified of this prestigious honor and be on their way. And you just saved us from dealing with another asshole. So, pat yourself on your back for that.

Thank you for reading this important blog post. I’m just trying to help us all have a great life!

To Sending Them Off in Style,

Francesca

* This is a fictitious island and website; however, it’s a very cool idea.