I used incorrect spelling for a reason to capture attention. This is an important topic that hits home today, New Year’s Day. Most of us have or are making New Year’s resolutions for the upcoming year. We want things to be better this year than last year.

We hope and pray, we dream, and we want it to be, but until we have the mindset that it’s “gotta be,” this year just might be a repeat of last year.

I’ve been making wishy-washy resolutions for years about how I want things to be. I haven’t seen much change, other than I’ve gotten more confident in my writing to be able to share it. That is a big deal, but the other resolutions I had made seem to fall off the goal grid. You know the resolutions so many of us make about losing weight, quitting this or that, getting in better shape, eating better, learning blah blah, or whatever.

Sure, I had wanted those things, and for a long time, I’d beaten myself up about not achieving them.

There was a “Queer Eye” episode on Netflix where Karamo, the guy who deals with social stuff with the folks they help, said to a guy struggling with dealing with past mistakes, “You got to forgive yourself from now on because you were learning. I don’t call anything from my past a mistake. Because if I call any part of my life a mistake, that means I shouldn’t be here.”

Wow, that hit home for me. I’m sure it would for others, too. We beat ourselves up for so much! Each time we can’t take a compliment or say something derogatory about ourselves, we are beating ourselves up. When we don’t honor our wants and desires and do what someone else wants, we are beating ourselves up. And when we stop believing that we can have, do, or be anything we want, we are – yep – beating ourselves up. We need to stop that nonsense now!

Action wins races and makes dreams become reality, not wanna-be wishes and sugar-coated fantasies that don’t give us enough motivation. When we have something tugging at our hearts day in and day out, we have to do it. And the way we do that is by taking the necessary steps.

I have to be tough now on myself (and not in the sense of beating myself up), but I need to do some tough love where I keep moving and believing I can do whatever I set my mind to. The only way that’s going to happen is if I focus, stop the distractions, and follow the plan I created. It’s so easy to do something else that feels more comfortable and mask it as a priority. That’s procrastinating from fear or disbelief that you’re worthy of that dream.

Work through the reasons why you aren’t doing the action necessary. Write it down in a journal or on your phone. But write it out. Thinking about stuff can get messy. Clarity comes from writing things down. Once you discover the reasons why you’re still stuck in the same ‘ol same ‘ol life, then you can begin to turn things around and change your life into what you want it to be.

We only have this one life right now. Spending it brooding, complaining, or making ourselves or others miserable is a sad way to live. Trust me, there is a better way.

So, to start the year in a good place, get a tablet or a piece of paper and ask yourself the following questions. They’ll help guide you and figure out how to navigate the next 365 days.

1. What do I like? (This is a broad question for a reason. Some of us don’t know who we are. Start small. Think about what you like. Write it down.)

2. What makes me feel the most joy? (And cool it with any judgment. Answer the question with the first thing that popped up in your mind.)

3. If I could do anything I want to do to earn a living, what would it be?

4. If I had six months to live, what would I do? (This will show you what you value the most.)

5. What would be the best thing that could happen if I did what I wanted to do with my life?

These are simple questions that are going to poke that kid inside of you who had dreams and wishes. That kid was a wanna-be, but as an adult, you are a gotta-be. You have everything you need to get to your destination. You just have to believe that first.

This year, make it your year. I mean, really, really make it your year.

Don’t put up with the mediocre stuff that plagued you last year. Invest in yourself. Give yourself the attention you deserve. Take time for yourself. I know that’s on my list of things to do for myself since I had not been so good at taking care of myself. We have a body that needs our mind to take good care of it. Better thoughts equal better results.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope I’ve offered some positive thoughts to get us going in the new year. Happy New Year! Let’s be those rockin’ folks who gotta be doing what we love, living the way we choose, and attracting all sorts of happiness and joy!

To being a gotta-be person,

Francesca

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