No One Here Gets Out Alive
I used to be one of those people that let drama overtake their life. I lived in constant drama around my family, and I didn’t like it. Looking back, I get that I was surviving not living my life to my highest capabilities. When we look beyond the drama, that’s when life unfolds, where we can see our potential and purpose.
Throughout my time here on earth, what has bugged me the most is that I knew there was much more to life than what I experienced. I wanted more for myself. Sure, money and freedom are necessary for a “good” life. Still, I’m referring to having a different focus, one that’s much more constructive and ambitious: to want to better yourself, better than you were yesterday.
Today, the things that I allow in my life are what bring me joy and happiness, no matter what that is, because it’s my choice. It’s not your choice. It’s not her choice or his choice. It’s my choice. Thank goodness I get that now since it took me a long time to realize that I had a choice. We get the gift of a life at birth, and by the time we get to adulthood, it becomes our responsibility to do what we may to be happy. Some folks who aren’t so happy take out their pain on others. That’s not cool.
The idea for this post came about as I’ve been healing after a right shoulder surgery, and I’m right-handed. Lying in bed in the middle of the night, wide awake with horrible pain, the only thing that got me through was knowing it would heal, and I’d force myself to think of all the good things going on, like being alive and being a decent human being. Of course, these last few weeks of recuperating have also been plagued with regret of my life choices, specifically the overuse and beating up of my shoulders (I had left shoulder surgery on 7/31/24.) There seemed to be no rock I was afraid to lift or landscape project too big as long as I had the energy and time (albeit misused) to do it. I never took into consideration what kind of toll it would have on my body. But no matter how I feel, in how much pain I’m in, I’m still a decent human being to others.
We’re all gonna die someday, all of us. We don’t know when or how. I am amused when I interact with mean people or assholes that have such an intensity towards keeping up a closed-minded attitude and are oblivious to those around them and how their words and actions affect others. Sadly, no matter what we say or do in those situations, we cannot make anyone change. We can only change ourselves. Our only recourse when dealing with a hurtful person is to walk away (and preferably sooner than later so the damage isn’t too great.)
Having the conscious thought that today is all we have right this moment, and we are aware of how we act, only then can we choose to be a decent person and act that way.
No one here gets out alive like Jim Morrison sang in the Doors band. We will all meet our fate one way or another. Sadly, a lot of jerks never realize how much pain they caused other people and will die before they ever get life right – and then it’s too late.
I cannot understand how someone could be mean, take advantage of someone else, make fun of another person out of their insecurity or jealousy, or be a know-it-all – interacting with others as if they must let others know how inadequate they are. Those are the people so damaged there’s not enough glue or duct tape to heal them. The personality got solidified with all those rotten traits because a parent(s) or other adult influence fed that wolf.
There is a Cherokee Legend about Two Wolves.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me.” He said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
No one here gets out alive. I’d like to believe that there’s justice at the end. I also believe that those folks who are rotten to the core are living a horrible, unhappy existence and can only share what they are. Mean people are carrying around their hurt inner child who never addressed their pain. They usually blame others too, a learned behavior to avoid feeling pain.
Most of us think the jerks of this world do horrible, hurtful things because they’re evil. That may be the case for some, but the majority of rotten folks are acting out as unruly children who avoid consequences for their hurtful actions. Never having to face consequences for actions creates entitlement and huge, impenetrable egos.
Life is a balance, as my husband always tells me. We need to be assertive and protect our boundaries but do so in a kind manner. Pay attention to how you interact with others. Watch your words and actions. Having compassion instead of contempt will lighten your heart. Don’t let the negative noise happening outside of us pull us down to that level.
I hope these words may offer you something positive to think about. Do you agree with this? I’d love to read your comments. Thank you for spending your time reading this.
To making better choices,
Francesca
