Mistakes Are Part of Life
Everyone makes mistakes. Some regret them to the degree that they allow them to haunt their present moments. I did that for many years. When we allow past mistakes to keep us down, stuck, and feeling not good enough, we are no longer living in the present.
Mistakes are a part of living life. That’s how we learn and evolve. If you think about it, if no one made mistakes, first life would be boring, but no one would grow. Mistakes are like the energy source that makes new leaves on plants, necessary for growth.
Those who were exposed to family, friends, teachers, and (in my case) Catholic priests, who constantly pointed out what we did wrong, it’s no wonder why, as adults, we nitpick everything we’ve done wrong and continue to beat ourselves up when we make mistakes now. I know it’s a horrible way to exist because I lived like that until I learned to forgive myself.
I had to come to terms with the reality that adults who inflicted criticism and pessimism on their children only did so because that’s what they learned from their parents, other adults, and even other kids. Until we recognize how toxic this is, we won’t be able to move past it in our lives.
It took many years of self-work to see my part in passing down the criticism “gene” to my daughter. That’s what I knew, and I didn’t know any better. Now, with my daughter a fully grown adult, I regret so many things I said or did and used to beat myself up for the mistakes I made raising her. I was doing what I learned, and until I learned something different, nothing would change.
Thankfully, I learned a lot and now understand how being asleep in our lives does nothing good.
Mistakes happen when we aren’t living in the present moment.
That knife that cuts you when you’re chopping onions is because you weren’t paying enough attention. The fall you take is most likely because you weren’t looking where you were walking or going too fast. When we get hurt or make a mistake, it usually can be traced back to not being in the present moment and not caring enough about ourselves to pay more attention to the good of our well-being.
People who don’t like themselves don’t care if they smash their hands while working with a tool. They expect bad things to happen to them. How sad. Their mistakes manifest because of the beliefs they inherited from their family that they are not good enough, so why bother to care about themselves?
Our minds are like sponges, absorbing everything around us. If you are constantly exposed to negative people and entertainment, you will think negatively—it’s just the way it is. Being reminded of all our mistakes lowers self-esteem.
Sadly, this happens way too much in family situations where parents (possibly from wanting what’s best for their children) have no trouble telling their offspring about all the mistakes they’re making with their lives, but if they do what the parents deem right, then they will be okay. Parents need to let their young adult/adult kids make the decisions that are going to make them happy over what will be the most practical decisions for them. When we get to choose for ourselves, we also get to learn if things don’t work out. This makes us smarter and stronger.
We’re going to make mistakes, and that’s okay! We need to stop beating ourselves up over them and move on, having learned a lesson from the experience. That’s the healthy thing to do.
Let’s live and not be afraid of making mistakes. That only puts more pressure on ourselves to be perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect human being. We are ALL flawed and make mistakes. Once we realize that, we’ll be on our way to a happier life.
Thank you for reading this, and I hope you heed this advice. It was tough for me to believe this, but I understand now and feel a lot better because of it.
To making mistakes,
Francesca
