It’s been challenging coming up with positive ideas to write about since dealing with a mighty shoulder issue. I don’t like to dwell on such things, but it’s my reality now. And we all know that what we don’t want to address will mail itself to our consciousness, and then we have no choice but to face it. The thing we have to keep in mind is how we process stuff.  The healthy way to process thoughts is to put a positive spin on it and take it day by day, moment by moment.

Today’s idea came to me as I began to type. With the year ending and a new one about to begin, it’s the time when we think about what changes we’d like to make to better ourselves.  Each new year brings me a sense of calm, knowing I can start over. It’s like we reset our lives back to thinking, “Okay. Here’s another opportunity. Let’s do this!”

Even a list maker like me knows that making the list is only part of the method for change. We also have to do the things on the list. But before all that, we need to find a quiet place, close our eyes, and take a deep breath. Relax. Breathe. Focus on your breath going in and out at a slow pace.

Then think, what is your North Star? The North Star (Polaris) has been used for centuries to guide travelers, as a wish gatherer, and as a metaphor for what’s important to you.

Your North Star is who you are. It guides your days and gives life to your hopes and dreams. Your values and passions encompass the essence of who you are. Your North Star helps you stay true to that.

If you feel like life has gotten out of your control, that means you’re not following your “North Star.” I know I’ve gotten off course of my North Star for many years. I felt it. We all could if we pay attention. You feel like something is not quite right. There’s a voice inside trying to get you to listen, but the outside noise keeps it muted. That’s where spending quiet time alone helps you get back on course.

I believe we’re all given a purpose when we’re born. Given the perfect conditions, our North Star guides us along the way to a life of joy and happiness. However, we often don’t have perfect conditions. We’re born into families with histories of dysfunction and limiting beliefs passed down from parent to child. If we aren’t aware of these things, we cannot change them and we go on perpetuating the misalignment of our North Star.

Finding your North Star is about taking time for yourself and listening to your heart. What are you hearing? The victim’s voice might start yapping but don’t give up. Go past the victimized, hurt voice (usually coming from your inner child) and keep listening. Your North Star’s direction and protection are talking, too. Call it your inner GPS. Just like in our vehicles, we have to listen to the GPS to get where we want to go.

Once you hear your voice, ask yourself: What makes me happy? That answer is your North Star.

So, now that we found our North Star, how do we follow it?

It starts in our minds.

We have to start believing we are what makes us happy. Since we are with ourselves day in and day out, 24/7, 365 days a year, we can control what we think about.

Depending on how far we’ve strayed from our North Star, it might take a little more effort to get back aligned to our authentic selves, but it’s worth it because we all deserve peace of mind and happiness.

To get back aligned with our North Stars, we need to change our mindset by:

1. Visualizing the outcome of how we want our lives to be.
2. Think positive thoughts about yourself and believe you deserve to be happy. Create positive affirmations you can repeat multiple times a day (For example, “I am enough.” “I deserve happiness.”)
3. Follow your intuition, and if an idea sparks in your thoughts, see if it’s worth pursuing.
4. Remain focused on your objectives, don’t obsess though to the degree you get tunnel vision and forget to pay attention to other areas of your life.
5. Feel good emotions like love and joy. The instant you think about feeling love, it changes your perspective. It can snap you out of a lousy mood, too.
6. Flip the switch on lack and feel gratitude. Think of small things to be grateful for, and before you know it, you will have turned your lackluster life into one full of abundance.
7. Create boundaries that make you feel good. Boundaries show others how to treat us. And it’s okay to create them and uphold them!

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of finding your North Star, and then in 2025, you can make a plan to follow it to live happily.

Thank you for reading this, and I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

To finding your North Star,

Francesca

P.S. A little tidbit. When I write the closing comment above my name, I envision myself lifting a glass of something good and making a toast like this guy.