I’ve been thinking lately about how I have allowed people to treat me. By loving and respecting ourselves, we teach people how to treat us. It makes perfect sense, right?

I was a “sucka” (sucker) for mistreatment and disrespect. Somehow, I had the foolish notion that other people’s feelings were more important than mine. That’s precisely what happens when we’re a sucka for inappropriate treatment. We have to say so long to that way of life because it serves no one well.

Even my daughter had disrespected me by making fun of me if I did something wrong, wore something she thought was a joke, or didn’t understand something. A lot of the things she made fun of me for were because I didn’t have the expendable money to live as extravagantly as her.

Like the time it was pouring rain, and I went to her house to help her when a contractor was coming over to give her an estimate, and I wore my rain boots. They weren’t the fancy Hunter or Sperry brand that I would have loved to have, but they kept my feet dry and were comfortable. I bought them at the Tractor Supply Store, and I’m pretty sure they are men’s boots, but still, they do the job. And they were affordable.

I thought they looked good until my daughter made fun of me, saying, “Are you going fishing? They look like men’s fishing boots.” I let it get in my head and didn’t want to wear them. Oh, and she was an adult by this time, not a cranky teenager that you’d expect that kind of sass.

Absolutely no one should make fun of someone who bought something that was in their budget to serve a function. If you are a person who does that, stop it.

I tried to raise my daughter well so that she would show me respect, but others with different motivations overpowered my efforts. Regardless, I felt undeserving of my daughter’s love because I thought I wasn’t good enough. That can happen when a person feels inadequate or wrong a lot.

It’s tough to step out of a comfort zone (or habit of thinking ) and change the tune of your life to one that makes you happy. It’s time to turn the radio station and pick up the one where we feel good about ourselves and are no longer suckas for the souls who need to hurt us because they hurt.

So long to feeling not good enough because WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

So long sucka for believing in lies that told us we made mistakes and didn’t know enough. WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN, AND THAT IS ENOUGH!

I know I’ve written this before, but it is so very true: we get one life to live, so why not make it amazing?

We have every right to choose what we want and not have to answer to anyone about it (providing it’s legal and ethical.) Sadly, some of us, like myself, were raised to believe that we don’t have that right. I used to believe I didn’t deserve anything I wanted. And if I did get something I wanted, somehow it didn’t last, or a sadness came out of it. It’s not unlike a person who wins the lottery and loses the money quickly. If you don’t believe you deserve it, it can’t stay with you.

This mindset followed me well into adulthood and became solidified by continuing relationships with my family. I had to make a break if I wanted to live happily. I couldn’t shut it out. Maybe others could, but it affected me too negatively. I did what I had to do not to be a sucka any longer. Sadly, I always wanted a loving, respectful, close-knit family and put up with the disrespect to keep up the facade. But it only made me feel worse about myself. I had to face reality and do something to change it.

We know when it’s time to walk away. Our hearts tell us. We have this voice inside that’s always there and wants good for us. Let’s listen more so we do not become a sucka to anyone or anything.

Thank you for reading this.

To saying so long,

Francesca