The word fear has several acronyms I’ve heard:

F.E.A.R. – false evidence appearing real

F.E.A.R- face everything and rise

F.E.A.R – forget everything and run

F.E.A.R -fantasized experiences appearing real (Jack Canfield)

No matter what the acronym, the gist is the same—what we think is what we feel. And feeling fear can be paralyzing. How we deal with fear makes the difference between a “so-so life” and a “great life.”

A “so-so life” is the one where you wake up, do the same things, complain life sucks, then go to bed and hope the next day is better.  A “great life” is one where we have choices and control over our happiness. We call the shots. We take the risks that shake things up. We make peace with our fear and know it’s a part of being a human being and it is something we can handle.

The former president, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” I take that as what I wrote—what we think is what we feel, and if we feel fear, we think about fear, and then fear takes over our lives.

Fear can be a good thing when we are in a life situation that realistically demands our attention, like seeing a rogue car coming at us or being too close to an angry mama bear protecting her young. That’s when fear snaps us into a quick-thinking mode to protect ourselves.

But when fear takes over and tries to protect us from having a better life because it’s too scary, unpredictable, or there are too many unknown variables, that’s the fear we need to make peace with and figure out why we’re feeling those thoughts in the first place.

Living a good life is a wonderful thing, yet many of our minds lead us astray down the dark alleys of self-doubt, worry, and frustration. I believe this happens because of our life experiences, and the older we get, the more life experiences have the opportunity to weigh us down. That’s when we need to reflect on what is causing the fear in the first place to be able to make peace with it.

For me, I feel fear when life gets to be too much, and the stress burdens my mind. I can’t focus on one thing, and my thoughts and life spiral out of control. The only way to get out of the cycle is to stop and figure out what is causing the fear. Once I know that, I calm down a bit, especially if it’s caused by being overwhelmed by what’s going on in my life. After all, a human brain can only take so much stress before it cracks, just like building materials.

The choices I’ve made haven’t always been the right ones. Most of my big life choices didn’t happen the way I wanted them to because of my lack of belief in myself and my fears, and selfish manipulators took advantage of that. As we get older, we get wiser. I see and understand a lot more now than I did in the past. I’m not faulting myself for it. I’ve lived, and I’ve learned.

The secret to making peace with fear is taking away its power.

We do that by doing the very thing that is causing the fear in the first place. I know it seems like an easy solution, but it works every time. If you’re afraid of starting a new job, apply for the jobs you really want.  If fear is holding you back, ask yourself what is the best scenario that could happen to having a better job. When you know that answer, it becomes easier to make peace with the fear, which helps you do the very thing that frightens you. You can do that with anything in your life.

The right actions help fear disappear. The more we do something, the easier it becomes, and then fear has no power over us anymore. Trust your gut and do what feels right for you.

Thank you for reading.

To making peace with fear,

Francesca