If you’ve read my blog posts, you’d gather that I’ve been through a lot of painful situations in my life. From the outside, my life looked good. I’d expect people to think I had a what-do-you-have-to-complain-about-life, other people have worse problems than you. Well, I learned I’m somebody, too, and deserve to be happy. I am writing these posts because I’m very experienced in this subject of personal development and want to establish that what I write has merit and is valid. Look how happy I’ve become! 🙂

I wish more people would read my blog posts because I give information and tools to have a happier, more fulfilling life. It gave me the idea for this blog today. I was dissing people for not reading my blog. Seriously. I thought (and not in an arrogant way) my blogs were good. Why won’t people take a few minutes to read them? And then I allowed negativity to creep in and think, there are so many stimuli and options to inform or entertain these days; how could anyone have time for my posts? That was a no-no! (I’m moving my index finger.) I was dissing myself.

We need to stop this dissing business. I’ve been doing it my entire life. If someone messed with me or disrespected me, I judged and talked about how it affected me, but I did not address my issue with them. I dissed them in private many times, even days and months later. I was hurt and had no way to diffuse the pain other than to complain about it. However, the only thing I gained from that was more angst. I didn’t see that until recently after reading the book Creating Money: Attracting Abundance by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer and a light bulb went off.

I mean, I’ve been reading self-help/personal development books for a long time, and the ideas of overcoming your past, self-belief, keeping a positive attitude, and thinking about what you want is not new to me. But last night, reading the words in that book got me thinking that I’ve been playing life all wrong.

I said I wanted to write, but I didn’t follow a schedule or stay focused when I took the time to do it. I thought of myself as a singer/songwriter but didn’t do anything to be that. How many of us say what we want but don’t actually do the thing? And is what we want something that would make us happy? Most of the time, it is. So why, then, wouldn’t we do it?

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Because we are dissing ourselves, big time!

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If we all did what we really wanted to do or said what we really wanted to say when it was appropriate, we’d all be walking around like happy toddlers who just grabbed a hose on a hot summer day.  Instead, like me, we might seethe in private, complain to our partners or friends, and diss an opportunity or person. If I knew how to spell out the sound a buzzer makes, I’d write it now. That is not the way to a happy life.

Before we diss, let’s ask ourselves why we’re doing that. By asking that question, it puts our minds in the present moment and helps to discern the reason why we feel the need to be judgy, critical, negative, or pissed off (even at ourselves.)  If it’s something that bothers us, we need to get comfortable with confrontation (kind confrontation, not I’ll take you down, sucka!) And we have to acknowledge why we fear what someone else thinks. If we are kind and calm when sharing our feelings, meant to heal, not hurt, and the other person gets all bent out of shape, please don’t assume that it was our fault. We all have a right to express ourselves and not feel guilty or shameful if we do. That comes from ill-parenting. Just sayin’ (I did the hand up and head tilt like Megan Thee Stallion or how any fantastic sassy black girl would do.)

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When we diss another, we diss ourselves.

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It’s as simple as that. We put ourselves in a yucky stew of negative emotions, and that does not serve us well at all! Instead, we either need to diffuse any negativity about a situation or person quickly, justifying if it is worth it to continue to think like that. Or we need to think about why we feel that way and figure out how to diffuse our upset feelings constructively.

Look at it like this. We don’t know what’s inside another person’s mind, right? Of course not. We can surmise all we want to understand is why someone did what they did, why a job offer fell through, or why this or that can bug us. We might not know the truth. We only know our truth – what we think about.

So, doesn’t it make sense to think better thoughts no matter what’s going on in our lives?

Recently, I listened to a video by author/personal development guru Jake Ducey who said to think or say the following words to yourself and see how you feel.

I am energized.

I am well.

I am healed.

I did it, and I have to tell you, it truly does make a difference. I do feel better. Try it. What do you have to lose? A few seconds of your time? I’m always engaged in learning something new to help change my life around to a happy one. I’ll never stop doing that and always hope to have fresh new ideas for these blogs to share what I’ve learned to help others.

I’m not going to diss anyone or anything anymore. I’m going to think in constructive ways that serve me better. That’s what allows us to be happy.

Thank you very much for reading this and I hope you get inspired.

To not dissing,

Francesca