Are we in complete control of our lives?

I’ve often thought of that question. My past has caused the money mindset and worthiness value I’ve had most of my life, but with a lot of work, I now realize I am in control of my life, my happniness. I know what I have to do to make myself happy.

I have to give a shout-out to my husband, who has been supportive and has pulled us through these years, with me earning a meager income from a part-time job that allows me to focus on my writing, blog, and podcast. It’s been challenging at times, but I’ve been creative with finding the best deals for items we need or want, cooking healthy recipes and freezing, and making things at home, including bathroom spray and lip balm, so that we still live a comfortable, healthy quality life on a budget.

He believes in my ability to sail the ship into calm, beautiful waters and I want to show him I could earn money from all that I do. I keep creating and producing good stuff, and I figure eventually, the Universe or a Higher Power is going to get around to helping me out.

I believe that I didn’t get any of the hundreds of jobs I’ve applied to (yes, that is correct – hundreds – I have proof of that) because I am supposed to do something else – this – my podcast – write my books, create more music and sing it loud and proud. And let’s face it, other people are doing it, so why not me?

But back to the topic – Who’s sailing this ship? For the longest time, I blamed my parents and family. I had to. How could I not? I finally realized that I did not solely create the awful pain I felt inside of myself, and I had to stop denying the source. Once I did that, I let out years and years of resentment, anger, and pain. It was not an easy or quick process, but I held on and stayed strong. I kept seeing my husband when I felt like giving up my dreams and settling for a meager existence. And I’d snap right back to reality and get to work.

I knew if I was ever going to change my life, I had to get on board the ship of my life and kick whoever I believed was steering the rig off of it. It took years and a lot of work, but I’m happy to report that I am on deck, wide awake, and the captain on duty! If there’s an obstacle in the way or a sail needs to move, that’s on me to take care of it. I took over the ship and can’t blame anyone else for things not being right.

At times, we have to fight to sail the ship. That’s when we have to dig deep inside of us and scrape fears and insecurities off the boat into the murky waters below. That’s where they belong, not attached to us. We’re better than that!

Fear and insecurities started when our ships were stuck in ports when we sailed there as lowly deck hands while someone else steered the ship. Other people’s words and actions can have a profound effect on us and cause us to feel and think thoughts that aren’t real and don’t serve us well – like how barnacles don’t serve boats well.

We can’t place all the blame on our upbringing or our peers. They were guided in the waters of their lives by their families, and the old crusty barnacles of fear and insecurities grew and multiplied because of how parents learned from their parents and kept feeding those critters underneath our beautiful ships, causing the weight inside us. They didn’t know any better. We didn’t know any better. The important thing is to recognize these troubles and find the courage to take care of your ship. Take over the captain’s duties and delegate if you need to, to be a better captain.

To know who’s sailing the ship, ask yourself these questions?

 

• Are you living the life you want to live?

 

• Are you following your bliss?

 

• Do you wake up excited for another day?

 

• Do you do what you want to do?

 

• Are you happy?

 

If you answered these questions with all terrific, positive “I’m the one guiding my ship” answers, then you have your answer. You are the captain sailing the ship!

If not, take some time to figure out why not.

It may cause some rough seas where you feel sick in the pit of your stomach, and you want to stop thinking immediately and let the freakin’ barnacles have their way because it’s not worth the irritation or pain.

Don’t give in, and don’t give up! You’re worth a great life – a happy life.

Take the time to think quietly, alone. Answer why you’re not sailing your ship without blaming anyone.

Sure, we need to pinpoint where these irrational beliefs came from, but we can’t keep staying stuck wallowing in self-pity or regret.

Knock off your ship all the wrong (false) messages, beliefs, fears, and insecurities! Put on your sunblock and hat and sail out to new, clear waters with a clean hull that helps you cut through the water faster and more efficiently.

I’m here to help. I’m one voice shouting as loud as I know how to so I can reach anyone struggling through life. I want our lives to be better. And they can be. Just yell out mutanty and take over and sail your ship!

To our beautiful ships,

Francesca