While doing some decluttering on my computer, I came across a meme I saved about things we can control. (How did I accumulate so many memes?) One of them was how seriously you take life. Of course, it got me thinking about how, as of late, I’ve been taking life way too seriously and feeling the effects of it. And we all know those effects equal to stress  – and lots of it.

Stress is not good for us. I know that. I also know that to combat stress, we need to lighten up on life and relax a little. I’ve been a stress ball, worrying about finding a new job, money issues, etc., etc. Oh, how the mind could spiral out of control so easily. That’s how anxiety begins. The mind conjures up all sorts of thoughts and scenarios, and before you know it, you’ve got a panic attack going on!

So, let’s all take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and calm those thoughts!

How do we do that?

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 Focus On Your Breath. 

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Breathe in and out through your nose slowly. If you’re having a really hard time in a panic, do this grounding exercise. It has helped me.

Notice the following around you:

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

By doing that, you take the focus off your racing mind and allow your thoughts to calm down. It really does work well. I’ve done it in a panicky state and calmed myself down quickly.

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 Think of Something Funny. 

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Put on a silly animal video or think of a funny situation that happened. Focus on anything that makes you smile. Instantly, you feel more relaxed, and you loosen the grip you have on life.

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Engage in a Conversation.

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When you talk with someone you like and feel good around, focus on what they are saying. You’ll get out of your head and pay attention to someone else. You can calm down. Changing your focus can help stop the racing thoughts and make you feel better.  However, it does depend on who the person is. Choose wisely.

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Don’t Take Things Personally. 

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This has been my Achilles heel for most of my life, where I hear what someone says and personalize it. What I’ve come to learn and realize is that most people are in their heads and don’t think before they speak. A person could be having a bad day, and you just so happen to be at the wrong place and time. It happens. When we interact with people, we have to stop thinking it’s all about us.

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Stop Thinking For Other People.

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I’ve been a wanna-be mind reader since I was a child. I thought I knew what everyone was thinking, and there have been many times I have been proven wrong. Did it stop me from thinking I could read minds? Heck no! I had to keep touching the stove to see if it was hot! And I got burned a lot! Don’t be like me. Think for yourself. I’m getting much better at it, but I’m in the recovery stage and still have to work at being mindful that I have no idea what other people are thinking. I can only control my thoughts and actions.

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Loosen Your Grip On Life. 

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Did you ever hear the expression, “Let go and let God?” It means to relax, let things flow, and trust that a higher power has your back. Instead, we think we have to have a super tight grip on life and control everything, or things won’t be just so. I’ve been guilty of that. I’ve been one of those A types where I couldn’t delegate or let others be responsible for themselves. I had to be the one juggling all the balls and was too stingy to give up any to someone else who wanted to have some. Give up the balls. Allow yourself to rest and relax. You not only deserve it, you need to do it.

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Say Nicer Things To Yourself.

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I read something recently about talking to yourself like you would a child. It’s sad how we beat ourselves up too many times when we think we didn’t do something right, or what we missed or forgot, or whatever. If our child or best friend did something wrong, we would not speak to them the way we speak to ourselves. Okay, we’ve got to change that, pronto! Give ourselves a break and just cool it. We are not created to be perfect. We were created to live. Make sure each day you tell yourself some good things. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile, forgive, and love what you see. You are exactly who you are meant to be. Others love you for you, so let who you are be enough.

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Allow Yourself to Be Silly.

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During a shopping excursion a few years ago, I wanted to try on big shades. I had seen Christina, from HGTV’s Christina on the Coast, wear them, and she looked so chic. I looked like a cartoon character. Since I have a great sense of humor, I asked my husband to take my photo. I was looking for a silly photo of me, and this one fits the bill. Lighten up and giggle at yourself. You’ll feel better. Trust me.

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Laugh

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I’m sure you’ve seen the phrase, Laugh more, worry less. It’s an excellent way to live. I know it’s hard sometimes to let out a laugh if you’re wound too tight and a ball of worry. I’ve been there. But you have to lighten up and not take life so seriously. Life moves on with or without your sense of humor or relaxed state. Wouldn’t it be better to move through life happy? Sure it is. Let your guard down, and the heck with worrying about what other people think! Laughing makes you feel good.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope I’ve given you some ideas to think about. What other things do you do to lighten the load of a heavy life? Please leave a comment below. I’d love to continue this conversation.

To Lightening Up,

Francesca