The other day, I wanted to go for a walk for exercise. It was a beautiful day, and I work from home, so getting out of the house and breathing in the outside air is a good thing. However, something happened, and I’m so glad it did because what I learned was life-changing. Let me share my experience. Maybe someone else has gone through this, too.

Usually, I always have to have a purpose to walk or ride my bike. It’s walking to the post office or riding my bike to the grocery store, tying two things into one. But the other day, I didn’t have to go anywhere. I just wanted to go for a walk to feel the sun on me and take in nature. And that’s when it happened. Anxiety flooded through me like a dam that burst. I couldn’t control it. Thoughts hit me hard, telling me you can’t walk for no reason, you’ve got more important things to do.

I stopped. I cried. I broke down. And like the mythological phoenix who rises from the ashes, I felt that something inside of me had changed. It was a quiet voice that said, it’s okay to take care of me.

It felt life-changing in that moment when I realized I could go for a walk just to exercise without having another more important reason to do so.

I don’t know what happened in my life that I have allowed myself to get left behind. I used to work full-time outside of the house, come home, change, and go running. Yes, I was a young adult, living at home with my parents, and didn’t have the responsibilities I do now, but I put what was important to me first. At that time, being in good shape was important to me, and I fit exercise into my daily life. I never thought of it as putting me first. I just did it like the Nike saying.

But the other day, I was struggling, going through a mental dilemma of whether or not I could spare the time to exercise. Yet, if I had mail that needed to get to the post office, I’d put on my sneakers and be out the door without a second thought because I had a “purpose.” Wow. You can now see how this realization is life-changing.

If we all think about our lives now, as adults, how many of us put taking care of ourselves as a high priority? I wasn’t doing it. Last year, when I was leaving the hair salon I go to, I saw a woman walking into the yoga studio next to it wearing a sweatshirt with a saying on it about putting yourself first. I commented to her that I needed to do that more. She looked at me and realized I was reacting to the words on her sweatshirt. She said something like it’s a no-brainer. I don’t remember her exact words, but I left there thinking about it and how she was putting her health first, going to yoga, and her thoughts leaned towards “me first” before anything else.

The other day, when I got outside and walked to take a walk for exercise, to do something good for me, I felt like I was doing something wrong. What if someone sees me going for a walk in the middle of the afternoon, and I have no purpose? I immediately stopped the destructive (and sadly learned) thoughts and changed them to – I am doing something good for me, and I deserve to do this, so shut up and get the hell out of my head! This is what happens in my head. I’m just being honest.

I cranked up the music in my ears and went on my way to enjoy the sunshine, the fresh air, and the movement. I came home and didn’t immediately start doing something for the house or start making dinner. I took the time to stretch. It felt so good to put me first. And I couldn’t believe how I had been putting myself behind everything else.

We have one life. I think if we realize that more, we can make better choices for what’s best for us. As we get older and, hopefully, wiser, making better choices is so much more important. For me,I have to stop and think instead of jumping into something that takes my time and isn’t exactly bringing me joy but something I feel is a responsibility to do. Yes, we have responsibilities, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves. Remember that.

I’m not suggesting you be selfish; just recognize your needs and honor them first. You can’t take care of someone else if you are not mentally or physically up to it. This only puts a burden on us and weighs us down even more. And it leads to depression, anxiety, and resentment. Build yourself up, work on your foundation, get it solid and happy, and then you can thoroughly pour yourself into others and responsibilities without it seeming like it’s taking something away from you. I hope that makes sense. It does in my mind, but you know, I’m a heavy-duty thinker. (I don’t even know if that’s a thing. I just made it up. haha)

When you go through your day, think – how can I put myself first? When you think like that, you start to change how you act and react to life. All of a sudden, you have more control and feel like you are honoring your life. That’s a good thing!

Thank you for reading this, and I hope you think the next time you feel burdened how can I put me first?

To putting “me” first,
Francesca