Did you ever notice when you are around a person or doing something, and you get a feeling that doesn’t feel right? You don’t know why it’s happening, but you blame chemistry for the interaction with that person or fear. And that’s pretty much as far as it goes, right? At least, that’s the way it was for me.

Well, I’m here to tell you that we hold a secret that few of us know about that can change our lives for the better. Seriously. And it’s not the law of attraction, although that’s a great secret, too.

No, this secret is that inside each and every one of us is the child we once were. That child was intelligent and aware, loving and kind. That child had very few fears and knew when they were in the presence of a rotten or phony person. The child in us was the dreamer, uninhibited and creative. And we let all that go when we become adults after our family, friends, and society told us we had to.

I believe some people might see me as weird or out there because I never lost my child. I went through many rough things in my life and carried my broken, wounded child with me. She was there when I danced by myself to a band’s music, with a clear mind and a pure soul, just loving the music and dancing to it. Isn’t that what most children would do without reservations or worry about what someone else thought about them? I saw a little boy dancing to a band’s music at an outdoor event. He was having the best time! Meanwhile, I looked around at the people sitting on chairs; some looked excited to hear the music, and others looked miserable. It dumbfounded me.

I also know that we have one life, and as we get older, it gets shorter and shorter. Time flies by because we are cramming so much into one day. Gotta do this! Have to finish that! We can’t slow down! Why not?

Our upbringing affected our behavior, but society also influenced it. Ideas and standards flow through our society like a wave coming into shore, soaking everything in its path. We’ve learned, slowly (thank goodness), that we have to be “on” all the time. Homes hold offices where we blur the line between work and home life. Energy drink companies are thriving because people need more and more of a lift to keep them going throughout the day. Kid’s crammed schedules or video games keep them busy. Our phones have us connected to the world, with information and people. Sleep? What’s that? Relaxing? What are you talking about? It’s no wonder anxiety and depression have risen in this country along with the increased speed of life.

The secret we hold is our salvation for so many things. I tapped into it to quit smoking, knowing my inner child did not smoke and would never smoke. The child within us is pure with love and free from ingrained irrational thoughts. We are blank canvases, and our upbringings paint them. When we’re lucky to have had quite the artist as a parent, and our canvas is painted with love and happiness, we feel whole as adults because our inner child is with us, bringing more love and happiness to our lives. But you could still have a beautiful life if you had a canvas painted in dark, muted colors that reflected heartbreak and sadness. You simply need to paint over what you learned and start fresh. And that is taking the time to listen to your inner child.

 

Our inner child gives us warnings, that feeling of your hair standing up on the back of your neck. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that young children and animals make great judges of characters. I think it’s true. Most people ignore children in shopping carts because they are focused on getting what they need and getting out of there. I see the children. I look in their eyes and smile, and they smile back like kindred spirits who belong to the same club.

Until I went back and found my inner child, I was lost. I separated myself from that little girl because I thought she was weak and unable to escape the pain. It was the opposite. She was strong and intelligent. I know now that that little girl just wanted to be loved, appreciated, and respected. Sadly, as I grew older, the feelings of inadequacy made me push that little girl further into the past, and I disassociated with her. It wasn’t until I left a toxic relationship that I could find her again. I think it was because I had a child of my own and lived in that youthful mindset with her, at least while she tolerated me being there. It was a good run!

Take a little time alone and try to find your inner child. Do it while driving, cutting the grass, running, or whatever you do where you can focus on your thoughts. See yourself as a child. Try to reach that child and ask these questions:

What did you want?

What made you happy?

How can we be whole?

In the book Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook by Louise L. Hay, I did an exercise to tap into my inner child. It was asking questions and writing down the answers with your non-dominant hand, which Ms. Hay inferred as coming from your inner child. I’ll tell you what, when I did it, it was quite telling. I had to feel the pain all over again, but afterward, I could embrace that little girl inside me and take her with me. We were one. And I learned that having her with me helps me lead a happier and richer life. It’s that little girl that won’t let me give up. She gives me ideas and tells me never to be afraid to be myself and show people what I can do.

I still falter once and again because the adult takes over to be responsible and serious. That’s when I feel anxious and let things bother me. I worry. Kids don’t worry too much. But by living whole with your child self, you can combat senseless worry and anxiety by believing everything will be okay. Remember when you worried about something a year ago, and it turned out okay? Use examples like that to focus on what’s right, not what can happen or what’s wrong.

I hope this post inspires you to see what your inner child is up to and how connecting with him or her will show you the secret you hold to make your life beautiful.

Thank you for reading this. I do appreciate your time. That’s why I try to keep my posts under five minutes. We’re all busy, but this is important, and I need to share it.

To Getting the Secret,

Francesca