Who Wants Some Humble Pie?

No matter how rich or successful we become (or on our way there), there’s nothing less sexy than an egotistical jerk who treats people with resentment. I say they need a slice of humble pie. When one stops being earthbound and grounded, common sense leaves, and like a hot air balloon getting a shot of hot air, the ego takes over and lifts us. When we start thinking we’re better than someone else and disregard feelings and common courtesies, it’s time to stop giving ourselves hot air.

The most famous person I ever met was Norman Mailer. I worked at Wilkes University in the Humanities Division, where the school hosted a writer’s conference. I was in charge of the planning, logistics, etc.  Norman Mailer was the keynote speaker. I knew who he was but wasn’t a fan of his work because I had never read it. After the conference, my guy and I went to a casual party at a professor’s home, and Norman Mailer was there.

I went to the bar to get a drink, and he sat on one of the bar stools. He looked like a friendly guy, so I introduced myself and told him I enjoyed his earlier keynote. He was friendly and nice. He spoke to me like a random older guy sitting at a bar. At that time, I did not know the magnitude of his writing career, so he didn’t intimidate me. I spoke to him like I did anyone else. What I remember the most is that even though he had an aura of specialness surrounding him, I thought he came across as humble.

You can be hugely successful and humble. I used to think that being humble was being nice and kind, with a low amount of self-confidence that may give some people the idea it’s okay to walk all over you. Boy, was I wrong!

Being humble is taking your ego out of your thoughts and being grateful for who and what you are. You never stop questioning life, have the willingness to learn and grow, and believe down to your core that you know and respect your worth and never feel that makes you better than someone else. We are the same inside with bones and vessels. It’s our minds and outside that vary so greatly. It’s harder to realize we’re all connected when we’re shallow.

Let’s keep our egos in check so that we don’t get deluded into feeling we’re somehow better than someone else for what we do or have because it could be taken away in a second. Being unhappy can be a life sentence if we let it. When we’re grateful for what we have, we appreciate and know life is precious, no matter whose it is. That’s being humble. And gratefulness brings happiness to our doorsteps. We just have to open the door and let it in.

Share your best self with others who maybe need to learn something from you.  Maybe you’re a great cook, and your niece compliments your food. Please share your knowledge because you want to see them succeed, not because it makes you feel superior. Let go of the need to be in control of others. You can’t, so give it up. People will think about what they want anyway, so let’s give one another something good to cherish.

You can be assertive and still keep up boundaries when you’re humble. You can be respected and loved when you’re humble. You can be a hard ass and still be humble (just not a jerk). It’s a state of mind that people pick up on quickly. People know when someone is not humble. It comes across. The issue is that many people don’t care or fear, and they still give that person respect. (Been there, done that.)

From my experience, it’s easy for band musicians to lose their humbleness. I was grateful to work with many humble musicians, which made for a much more enjoyable time. Inflated egos in a band kinda bring down the vibe, and it doesn’t feel too good to be around someone who thinks they are more knowledgable and talented than you and want you to know it. I don’t have time to be around someone like that.  I never understood why some musicians aren’t humble. I mean, you’re doing something fun, making music, so there’s no good reason to be a jerk.

Anyhoo, that’s my spiel about being humble. Thank you for reading!

To enjoying a nice slice of humble pie,

Francesca

 

“In America, all too few blows are struck into flesh. We kill the spirit here, we are experts at that. We use psychic bullets and kill each other cell by cell.”

~ Norman Mailer