I saw a Frasier episode where he mistakenly got an invitation for an exclusive spa in Seattle addressed to his condo nemesis. He’s intrigued and gets his brother, Niles, to partake in a charade to use the invitation to get in. They are taken into the Silver Level door and enjoy the wonders of the spa, but on their way out, they see a senator going into a Gold Level door. The two neurotic psychiatrists become obsessed with getting into the Gold Level.

With the help of Frasier’s producer, Roz, who knew the senator, got them access to the Gold level. The brothers feel like it’s nirvana! Niles is on a table ensconced in a soothing body wrap, while Frasier has some other relaxing treatment. Then, they see what they assume is the Platinum Level door, and they must get into that! Frasier sneaks over to take a peek, but before he can open it, he gets scolded by an employee that the door is off-limits. Words that only sweetened the desire for Frasier and Niles.

Niles hops over to the door (since his legs are tightly wrapped with the body treatment), with Frasier salivating at the wonders behind the “Platinum Level” door.  They open it and see a radiant glow and walk through. The door closes while their eyes adjust, and they see they are outside the building, standing next to garbage dumpsters. There is no Platinum Level.

The episode was funny, but its message was clear: They thought they missed something better.

When we appreciate what we have right now, we live in the present moment, where we find true happiness and peace. If we keep thinking we need the next thing to make us happy, we are forever chasing the carrot that’s just out of reach.

But isn’t wanting better than settling, just accepting any old thing? It is if you are grateful for what you have now and are going after what you want because you raised your standards, not need to fill a void. And we all know when we’re trying to fill the void. We have an insatiable appetite that can’t be satisfied, and no matter how much we do what we think is best, we still feel empty, like we’re missing something. I felt that way. It wasn’t until I paid attention to what I was doing that I realized I needed to focus on doing things to feel joy, not to fill a void, mask pain, sadness, boredom, etc.

Frasier and Niles want what they can’t have because they need to prove they are worthy and deserving. The comedy did an excellent job showing how two psychiatrists, perceived as level-headed and healthy, needed the most mental help. No one is perfect, not even experts.

We are all worthy and deserving. It’s lovely to desire a loving partner, a family, a better job, better surroundings, or nice things. But if you want those things because you think they will make you happy, then it’s probably best not to open that door until you are happy with yourself first. Then you’ll know real happiness, not just a shadow of it.

Thank you for reading.

To a wonderful, happy life,

Francesca