This question hit me the other day when I was thinking about if I feel like an adult. I know, I know, I have a job,  own a home, am responsible for taking care of it, and I raised a daughter who is now an adult, so that should make me feel like an adult, right?

Um, not always. So why do I, and maybe others, feel this way too?

Are you supposed to feel like an adult when you turn 18? Because I didn’t feel like an adult then.

So, I went back into my life and tried to remember when I felt like an adult. Something stuck out. I came up with the times I used to go see live bands play. At times I went alone. I was there to focus on the music and de-stress and didn’t care what others thought about me. Being a single mother to a young child was tough and whenever I could, I saw my favorite local band, Strawberry Jam, a super talented band that played The Allman Brothers, The Beatles, The Grateful Dead, and other songs from the 60s and 70s. That was an opportunity for me to just absorb the music and forget about everything else. I felt no stress or pressure, I just listened and danced and it felt great!

That was being an adult because I was taking care of myself. I didn’t go to the bars to drink and get a buzz on; the music was my drug and I loved every second of it. I miss that. They still play, so check them out.

So is that what being an adult is like? Taking care of yourself and your needs? That’s a part of it, but not all of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe being an adult is taking responsibility for your life by exercising, eating right, and taking care of your family’s lives, and those you love. Yes, that’s it, right? It has to be. You raise the kids, bring home the money to buy the groceries and stuff, pay the bills, then you tend to the household chores, be Mr. or Ms. Fix it if that’s your thing, or just call someone to help. That must be a good example of being an adult.

Well… I think it goes a little further, at least for me because I’ve done all those things above and still didn’t feel like an adult most of the time. I felt a lot like a top spinning out of control, wearing multiple hats, just trying to get through the day in one piece.  Surely, that is not what being an adult is all about, because if that’s the case, I don’t want to be an adult! Haha

I thought about this idea and here’s what I think makes us an adult:

1. You can laugh at life and not take everything so seriously.

2. You think about life and want to make changes to be the best version of yourself.

3. You do things that bring you joy. Sometimes that includes taking risks, and going against what others think is best for you, so you can earn a living doing what you want and love to do.

4. You have free will and can choose what you like and don’t like, and respect the choices of other people.

5. You express your feelings with honesty.

6. You don’t hurt other people intentionally, but if you do hurt someone, you take responsibility and make things right.

7. If someone is important to your life, you don’t shut them out because you don’t like what they say or how they treated you. You talk about it and both sides get the floor to say what is on their minds to make things better for both.

8. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else, don’t you dare give a crap about what someone else thinks of you! We were given this life to be unique and be who we are.

9. You try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand what they are going through before you cast judgment, criticize or say something you’ll regret.

And finally, the biggest action of all…

10. You spend your time feeling love and other higher emotions (joy, happiness, compassion, and kindness) because we all have the ability to choose our thoughts. It’s just as easy to think a negative thought as it is to think and feel a positive one. Positive thought = positive vibrations and positive vibrations bring positive changes that attract the right people and life situations.

 

  Being an adult is meant to be fun and where you find freedom. Yes, we all have the baggage brought with us from childhood, our pain, loss, our disappointments that can cloud our present happiness, but only if we allow it. That’s the wonder of being an adult!

So, in essence, what it means to be an adult is that we get to choose. Let’s all make the best choices for us!

 

Peace and love,

Francesca