How do we prevent getting hurt by people? And no, becoming a hermit isn’t the answer. But here are four things you can do.

Don’t Allow the Setup.

What I mean by this is that believe it or not, we have the power to control situations. We can’t control people, but we can control ourselves when interacting with people. That’s it.  You don’t need to explain or feel guilty. It’s your time, your life, and your happiness that matters.

 

Start Saying No. A lot.

 When people ask something of us, and we respond with a yes, this gives them the idea that it’s okay to keep asking you to do something or for something. When a person gets shut down with a “no” enough times, they stop asking. This prevents you from feeling resentful and hurt that you are constantly being asked for something and helps to create boundaries.

Talk About Yourself In the Best Way.

 Whether we like it or not, we teach people how to treat us. If we put ourselves down or make fun of ourselves, this gives others the idea that they can treat us like that. Once we talk about ourselves and treat ourselves in a positive, loving manner, others will follow suit, and you will show that you are not fair game for abuse.  So build yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.

 

Put Yourself First.

I know this is a simple idea, so how can it help us stop getting hurt by people. When we put ourselves first, we lessen the chances of getting hurt by others, whether it is doing something we don’t want to do, giving of ourselves that we can’t afford to do, or whatever happens, that makes us feel hurt. As adults, we all have the right to choose how we want to live our lives, no matter what anyone tells us. If someone tries to tell you what you should be doing and it hurts you to do that, you need to take a second look at that relationship, even if it’s family.